What It Feels Like To Learn The Drums

The drums are dragging me by my ears
Over sharp, hot, shitty little pieces of glass
Except it exists only in my head and those of my neighbours with a small baby
I am encountering
Ouch
I am encountering my fear of being too loud and too much

I don’t particularly like being dragged like this
Buckle up, I guess
I stand up (oh my god this sucks I’m huge)
Everyone can see me now and it’s super loud so they can probably hear
Every single fuckup
It sounds a bit better now though, I guess
Probably because I am no longer being dragged by my ears

It’s true pretty much everywhere that everything sounds worse when you don’t actually give it your all
Except that giving it my all would be an admission that I am definitely trying
So still being shit after all that really bruises the ego

My pride is a flower that I brandish seductively when it’s blooming
But secretly crush when it wilts
Letting the poor damaged petals slip invisible from my hands
Which is quite sad, really
Because they were alive and beautiful once
And it is kind of cowardly to discard them like that